The Mistake
Seeking first to be understood.
- Not trying to understand your spouse but trying to get them to understand you
- Assuming you have communicated
- Assuming you are on the same page
- Taking each other for granted (laziness; busyness)
The Effects
Heightened frustration and constant misunderstanding.
- Competing with each other to be understood, neither gets understood
- Increases conflict that doesn't get resolved and builds
- Eventually, stop working together
What to Do
Seek FIRST to meet your SPOUSE
- Requires knowing your spouse and how he or she communicates
- LISTEN!!!
- Ask appropriate questions
- Respond
- Build a culture of openness and honesty
- Words that build-up your spouse
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