Seek FIRST to meet your spouse's needs
The Mistake
Seeking first to have your own needs met.
- Developing strategies to have your own needs met
- Ignoring and neglecting your spouse's needs (our of ignorance and/or selfishness)
- Tearing down your spouse with words and actions (wives tend to nag; husbands tend to criticize)
- Justified self-centeredness - Hurting your spouse, then excusing your behavior based on "special needs" or "special considerations"
- Blame-shifting (accusing; not taking responsibility)
The Effects
Tremendous frustration and mutual dissatisfaction
- Constantly competing with each other, both seeking to meet their own needs first.
- Neither one of you get your needs met.
- She doesn't feel cherished and cared for as a woman.
- He doesn't get appreciated and admired as a man.
What to Do
Seek FIRST to meet your spouse's needs
- Deal with SELF
- Get over yourself
- Trust God to meet your needs
- Learn to communicate in a non-manipulative, non-demanding way
FOCUS on YOUR SPOUSE'S NEEDS
- Know their needs
- Learn everything you can about your spouse (personality, sexuality, gender-related needs, extended family, etc.
- Read books, talk to your spouse, consult experts, etc.
- Develop and implement strategies to meet their needs
Posted in Marriage
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