Why Looking Back is the Best Way to Move Forward

That strange week between Christmas and New Year's – when you're not quite sure what day it is and you're probably full of cheese – might actually be the perfect time for something we rarely do: meaningful reflection. As a fellow thirty-something navigating life's complexities, I've discovered that looking backward isn't just about nostalgia; it's about understanding where we're going.

Ancient wisdom tells us, "As a dog returns to its vomit, so a fool repeats their folly" (Proverbs 26:11). While the imagery isn't pleasant, the message is clear: if we don't learn from our past experiences, we're bound to repeat our mistakes. But reflection goes beyond avoiding errors – it's about understanding the deeper patterns in our lives and recognizing the good amid the challenges.

Let me share something personal. This year, my wife and I faced what seemed like a comedy of errors with our vehicles. Within weeks, one car's transmission failed, and our other car was hit in a parking lot and declared totaled. Just like that, we went from two functional vehicles to zero. With two young kids and a job requiring regular travel, this wasn't just inconvenient – it was potentially catastrophic.

But here's where reflection becomes powerful: looking back, I can see how this crisis revealed both my default responses to stress and unexpected solutions that emerged. This brings us to an important distinction...

There's a quote by Charles Swindoll that hits home: "Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you respond." This isn't about plastering a smile over your problems or pretending everything's fine. Instead, it's about maintaining perspective while acknowledging reality.

In my case, I could either:

1. Spiral into anxiety about our transportation crisis
2. Acknowledge the challenge while remaining open to solutions

The second option isn't about positive thinking – it's about truth-focused thinking.

Here's a straightforward way to reflect on your year that goes deeper than typical New Year's resolutions:

1. List Your Top 10 "Best Things"
   • Don't rank them
   • Include both major and minor victories
   • Note unexpected positive surprises
2. List Your Top 10 "Hardest Things"
   • Keep it to exactly 10 (this prevents spiral thinking)
   • Include both major challenges and minor setbacks
   • Look for patterns
3. Ask "What was God doing?"
   • Where do your lists overlap?
   • What direction or solutions emerged from problems?
   • What patterns of yourself or in God's leading do you notice in your responses?

[Journaling Prompt: Take 30 minutes to create these lists. Don't edit or overthink – just write. Notice which experiences come to mind first and why.]

Hebrews 12:2 describes someone who "endured" extreme hardship "for the joy set before him." The key isn't pretending the hardship doesn't exist—it's about seeing beyond it to something greater.

This principle appears across various spiritual traditions and modern psychology: our ability to endure and thrive often depends on connecting our present challenges to a larger purpose or future hope.

Reflection without action is just contemplation. Here's how to turn insights into growth:

1. Identify Growth Areas
   • What patterns need changing?
   • Where do you want to develop?
   • What worked that you want to continue?
2. Set Realistic Goals
   • Use the "Plus One" mentality
   • If you currently do something once a month, aim for twice
   • Celebrate small increases
3. Schedule It
   • Block specific times for growth activities
   • Treat these appointments like important meetings
   • Build in accountability

[*Planning Exercise: Create a "Growth Grid" with three columns:

• Daily Actions (small, consistent steps)
• Weekly Goals (medium-sized commitments)
• Monthly Milestones (larger achievements to work toward)*]

Here's an interesting distinction from ancient wisdom: "Let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles" (Hebrews 12:1). Notice there are two categories: things that are wrong ("sin") and things that simply hinder. Sometimes, good things can distract from better things.
In my case, YouTube isn't inherently bad, but it was consuming time, and I wanted to use it differently. Your hindrances might be:

• Endless social media scrolling
• Overcommitment to good causes
• Perfectionism that prevents progress

True hope isn't about ignoring problems or pretending everything's fine. It's about acknowledging reality while maintaining perspective. As we move into 2025, your circumstances might not be perfect – mine certainly aren't – but your response to them is where transformation begins.

Remember: reflection isn't just about looking back; it's about moving forward with greater wisdom and purpose. The week between Christmas and New Year's, when time feels a bit suspended, might just be the perfect moment to start.