Marriage Mistake #4 - Can you hear me NOW?

The Mistake

Seeking first to be understood.
  • Not trying to understand your spouse but trying to get them to understand you
  • Assuming you have communicated
  • Assuming you are on the same page
  • Taking each other for granted (laziness; busyness)

The Effects

Heightened frustration and constant misunderstanding.
  • Competing with each other to be understood, neither gets understood
  • Increases conflict that doesn't get resolved and builds
  • Eventually, stop working together

What to Do

Seek FIRST to meet your SPOUSE
  • Requires knowing your spouse and how he or she communicates
  • LISTEN!!!
  • Ask appropriate questions
  • Respond
  • Build a culture of openness and honesty
  • Words that build-up your spouse
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