Marriage Mistake #9 - And we'll live happily ever after!

An unrealistic, romantic view of marriage

• The "Long Jump" view
  • Short-sighted, believing romantic love is all you need.
  • Crossing your fingers, hoping that the feelings of romance will last and sustain the relationship.
• Believing things will always stay the same.
• Assuming your personalities are static.
• Not adjusting to life stages and changing circumstances.

Tremendous disappointment and eventual disillusionment

• When reality sets in, you may wonder if this marriage was such a good idea
• Mistakenly believe that you have to keep feeling the same romantic feelings as when you first "fell in love," and doing things to get those feelings back
• Since romance isn't enough, you fail to do those things that are really required to make the marriage what it ought to be
• Eventually, you become disheartened about the relationship

Strive to have a marriage that is based on a mutual commitment that grows over time.

• A foundation of mutual commitment to God, marriage, your marriage, and each other.
• "marathon View": Strengthen the foundation by being far-sighted, beginning with the end in mind, and successfully negotiating the stages that your marriage will go through.
• build upon the foundation and fortify the walls by.
• Doing the right things.
• Practicing the "One Anothers" (Prescriptions in the Bible for how to treat each other rightly.
• Build healthy boundaries around your marriage for its protection.