Marriage Mistake #9 - And we'll live happily ever after!

The Mistake

An unrealistic, romantic view of marriage
  • The "Long Jump" view
    • Short-sighted, believing romantic love is all you need.
    • Crossing your fingers, hoping that the feelings of romance will last and sustain the relationship.
  • Believing things will always stay the same.
  • Assuming your personalities are static.
  • Not adjusting to life stages and changing circumstances.

The Effects

Tremendous disappointment and eventual disillusionment
  • When reality sets in, you may wonder if this marriage was such a good idea
  • Mistakenly believe that you have to keep feeling the same romantic feelings as when you first "fell in love," and doing things to get those feelings back
  • Since romance isn't enough, you fail to do those things that are really required to make the marriage what it ought to be
  • Eventually, you become disheartened about the relationship

What to Do

Strive to have a marriage that is based on a mutual commitment that grows over time.
  • A foundation of mutual commitment to God, marriage, your marriage, and each other.
  • "marathon View": Strengthen the foundation by being far-sighted, beginning with the end in mind, and successfully negotiating the stages that your marriage will go through.
  • build upon the foundation and fortify the walls by.
  • Doing the right things.
  • Practicing the "One Anothers" (Prescriptions in the Bible for how to treat each other rightly.
  • Build healthy boundaries around your marriage for its protection.
Posted in

No Comments