The Grandparent Heart: Growing Beyond Self-Interest

Ever notice how grandparents approach life differently? They'll drain their savings, sacrifice their limited energy, and rearrange their schedules just to invest in their grandchildren. There's something profound about this willingness to joyfully give yourself away for someone else's benefit.

I was thinking about this recently while studying Paul's letter to the Colossians. Behind the scenes, I'm a bit of a dweeb about backstage tours and understanding how things work (just ask my wife Glenda about the time I wouldn't stop flexing my theater knowledge during our first Broadway show—not my finest moment).

But understanding what's happening "backstage" in our spiritual lives can actually enhance our experience. So let me take you behind the scenes of what it means to develop a grandparent-like heart in your spiritual journey.

"Now I rejoice in my sufferings for your sake" (Colossians 1:24).

At first glance, these words from the apostle Paul sound concerning. Who rejoices in suffering? Is this some kind of psychological problem or martyr complex?

But Paul isn't psychologically damaged—he's spiritually mature. Chained to a Roman guard under house arrest for preaching about Jesus, he writes to a church in Colossae (in modern-day Turkey) that he's never even visited. Yet he sounds like a proud grandparent when discussing their spiritual growth.

Paul understands something many of us miss: there's profound joy in sacrificing for others, even when there's no direct benefit to ourselves.

I'll be honest—I struggle with this. I'm still way too self-interested. I worry about my calendar, whether my kids can get to all their activities, and if I can wedge out a little "me time" too. I'm not at Paul's level of sacrifice and toil, but I want to be.

The grandparent heart asks uncomfortable questions:

• Am I willing to endure difficulty for the spiritual good of others?
• What sacrifices am I making for those I mentor and pray for?
• How can I shift from being mostly focused on myself to being mostly focused on others?

This kind of sacrificial mindset runs counter to our culture, which constantly tells us to prioritize self-care, personal boundaries, and our own happiness above all else. While these things have their place, Paul shows us a more excellent way—finding joy in pouring ourselves out for others' spiritual growth.

"Him we proclaim, warning everyone and teaching everyone with all wisdom, that we may present everyone mature in Christ. For this I toil, struggling with all his energy that he powerfully works within me" (Colossians 1:28-29).

When I was young, I thought the highest aim of the Christian life was to stay out of hell. A few years later, I believed it was making Jesus attractive to as many people as possible. But Paul reveals an even more profound purpose: investing in people so that they become mature followers of Jesus.

Think of it like an old-school factory. Workers present their completed widgets to the boss at the end of their shift and get paid accordingly. If God is our boss, what are we producing? What will we present to him?

Some might say moral character or creative works that inspire faith. But Paul suggests our "widgets" are actually people—specifically, mature believers in Christ.

Why would God consider this the best use of our time and energy? Because God loves people more than any human has ever loved another person. He made you on purpose, with an innate desire to connect with something infinite. This isn't something roses or dolphins experience—it's uniquely human.

Maybe your vision of faith has been too small. Perhaps it's not just about your personal choices or the programs you create, but about investing your last measure of energy to see others mature in Christ.

The grandparent heart understands that the greatest legacy isn't measured in personal accomplishments but in the lives you've helped transform. It's about making investments that outlast you, creating ripple effects through generations you'll never meet.

"For though I am absent in body, yet I am with you in spirit, rejoicing to see your good order and the firmness of your faith in Christ" (Colossians 2:5).

One of the most endearing aspects of Paul's letter is how he cheers on people he's never met. Physical distance doesn't limit his ability to encourage his spiritual family.

During our church's Christmas offering season, I love hearing reports from ministry partners around the world. We may never meet these people face-to-face, but through prayer and financial support, we share in their work. When they take new ground for Christ, we get to share in that investment.

Similarly, our church has connections with many others across the country that trace their roots back to us. When we hear reports about what's happening in places like Chico or Church in the Valley, we can cheer our extended family on through prayer and encouragement.

The grandparent heart understands the importance of letting others know about the sacrifices made on their behalf. This isn't about seeking credit—it's about helping others recognize the cost and importance of driving their roots deep into Jesus.

In both ancient Colossae and modern America, there's a temptation for believers to pull back or not fully deepen their roots in faith to avoid rocking the cultural boat. The surrounding society celebrates pleasure, power, and possessions while remaining indifferent to spiritual commitment.

But intentionally growing deep roots in Jesus will help you weather ideological storms. Being aware of the sacrifices others have made for your spiritual growth helps you realize there's more at stake than your personal condition.

Our culture's values shift rapidly, but being firmly grounded keeps us stable. Like Paul, our desire should be to see spiritual maturity spread beyond ourselves to other cities and future generations.

If you want to develop this grandparent-like spiritual heart, here are three practical challenges:

1. Reach out to someone who has invested in you spiritually. Send a thank-you note, make a call, or write a text. Ask how you can pray for them. Paul never had the communication tools we have—use them to encourage someone who has sacrificed for your growth.
2. Connect with someone you're investing in, whether they're in town or not. Ask how you can pray for them and encourage them to keep walking in faith. A simple text message can lift someone's spirit when walking with Jesus feels discouraging.
3. Find a way to serve others. If you're benefiting from a spiritual community but not contributing, look for opportunities to get "shoulder-to-shoulder" with others in service. Your location doesn't determine how you can cheer the family on.

The Christian journey was never meant to be primarily about personal fulfillment. It's about becoming the kind of person who, like a loving grandparent, finds their greatest joy in giving themselves away for the good of others.

If you're in the DFW area and looking for a place to explore this kind of faith, I'd love to invite you to visit us at Hope Church. We're not perfect, but we're committed to helping each other develop the grandparent heart that Paul modeled—willing to sacrifice, invested in eternal returns, and always cheering each other on toward spiritual maturity.