Posts with the category “marriage”

Confusion about sex and intimacyShe thinks, "If he really cared about me, he'd take time to show affection by talking to me without the pressure of sex."He thinks, "If she really loved me, she would w...  Read More

An unrealistic, romantic view of marriageThe "Long Jump" viewShort-sighted, believing romantic love is all you need.Crossing your fingers, hoping that the feelings of romance will last and sustain the...  Read More

Determining to do marriage alone, without help from othersRefusing help when it's offeredNot asking for help when it's neededWaiting too long to ask for help that is neededHanging around the wrong peo...  Read More

Trying to change my spouseExpecting your spouse to change things they can't or shouldn't changeNot accepting and appreciating legitimate differencesNot working on changing those things about yourself ...  Read More

Not resolving conflict in a timely and appropriate manner.Not clearing up the relationship whenever there is hurt or conflict.Making the same mistakes over and over because you never learn from them i...  Read More

Roles are undefined (not sure who does what and why)Roles are blurred (negotiated or wrong)Roles are crossedWife tries to lead instead of followingHusband follows instead of leads You both become less...  Read More

Seeking first to be understood.Not trying to understand your spouse but trying to get them to understand youAssuming you have communicatedAssuming you are on the same pageTaking each other for granted...  Read More

Seeking first to have your own needs met.Developing strategies to have your own needs metIgnoring and neglecting your spouse's needs (our of ignorance and/or selfishness)Tearing down your spouse with ...  Read More

The mistake is in misplaced priorities:Putting lower priorities before the marriage always hurts the marriage. Here are some things that tend to easily go in first:KidsCareerExtended family (esp. keep...  Read More

The mistake is working hard at the WRONG things. This is easy to fall into if both marriage partners are haphazardly letting life happen to their relationship. Common symptoms are:No clear missionNo g...  Read More

When we see marriage played out in movies (and sometimes in real life), it seems to run a range from unrealistic bliss to hum-drum to a dumpster fire.You remember being sane when you got married and t...  Read More